Mama, My Love

By Stevie Kauka…….

It was a sunny day, and the women were walking in the opposite direction to where I was heading. They were carrying a live chicken and a parcel of maize flour, and being a villager myself, I knew that there was a celebration somewhere. Curiosity got the best of me, and I asked what the occasion was, for I had not heard anything from the village crier. “Nachisale has just given birth; she is now a proud mother of a beautiful baby girl,” they all chorused in reply.

Once again, it is that season where women will be trekking to the lake, supposedly to celebrate their mothers, without actually visiting them. Like any normal child, we cause pain and suffering to our parents, especially to the mother, who is closest to the children. Brenda Fassie, one of the music icons from South Africa, realized that no matter what, a mother will always remain your pillar. She composed and sang the following lyrics, full of remorse:

“Mama, I’m sorry
I didn’t mean to hurt you
I won’t be the same again
Mama, I’ve learned a lesson
All these years
I’ve been bad to you
I never thought I’d see you again
Mama, I’ve learned a lesson
Mama, you won’t weep again…”

The entire being of a person is spent in the bosom of a woman. A woman can make or break a man, or even a nation.

Every day is Mother’s Day for me, considering all the things mothers do to raise children. While the father is out searching for food, the mother is always there, making sure the child is protected, fed, bathed, and clothed.

However, in Malawi, we celebrate our mothers in October each year. Children visit their mothers, sharing or giving back gifts, meals, and care. There is even a special cloth, a “chitenje,” produced each year, which becomes a source of pride for every mother who receives it.

Even if the child is grown, the mother continues to offer love, advice, and guidance. It is also widely accepted that no matter how good food is prepared, nothing compares to a mother’s cooking. Everybody appreciates and longs for their mother’s homemade food.

I have heard people say:

“I’ll always love my mama
She’s my favorite girl
I’ll always love my mama
She brought me into this world.
Sometimes I feel so bad
When I think of all the things I used to do—
How mama used to clean somebody else’s house
Just to buy me a new pair of shoes.
I never understood how mama
Made it through the week
When she never got a good night’s sleep.”

Mothers have made plenty of sacrifices that no one else can. The mother-child relationship can be one of the most complicated and rewarding relationships. Raising a child can be extremely difficult, and mothers deserve our deepest thanks and praise. While it isn’t enough to appreciate her just one day a year, Mother’s Day is a good start.

In honor of mothers everywhere, it is vitally important to appreciate the enormous sacrifices they have made for the sake of their children. A heartfelt “thank you” on Mother’s Day is just the beginning.

While we were young, our mothers carried us on their backs. We would wail, urinate, and embarrass them in front of their friends, but they never stopped loving us. They tucked us into bed without expecting anything in return. The late nights spent nursing us deserve a special “thank you.” Knowing they were always there made us feel safe and secure. Mama, my love, you always made sure we were warm during the cold season. Thank you.

In whatever you did, you always made us your first priority. I remember when I got bullied, and you rushed to pull me out of the situation, then went straight to confront the bully’s mother. I was so proud to be your first concern. Despite your obligations and errands, taking care of us always came first.

There’s no offense meant, but my mama’s food has always been the best. Maybe it’s because it was the first food we ever tasted. No matter the situation, my love, you always made sure we were well-fed. Thank you, Mama.

You sacrificed your quiet time for us. We were unpredictable, often yelling in anger one minute and laughing the next. But you never lost your patience because you understood us better than we understood ourselves. Our mothers knew that quiet time was rare and precious, but they gave it up to make sure we felt loved. So, for Mother’s Day, I shout, “Thank you for letting me be so loud!”

As a child suffering from asthma, I remember how you would sit by my bed during an attack, staying awake all night as I struggled to breathe. This kind of love gave me the strength to fight and never give up. I would tell you to go sleep, but you refused. Sometimes, we would have nightmares or simply miss being close to you, but nothing was as comforting as being allowed to crawl into your bed. Mother’s Day is a perfect time to give you a big hug for all the times you made us feel safe.

Whether we were sick or well, you were always there, my love. Being sick is part of growing up, and you made sure we were cared for, taken to the hospital, and, when necessary, forced to take our medication.

Even when you weren’t feeling your best, you never took a day off from motherhood. Households with children are full of germs, but even when sick, you fought through it all to be there for us. For that, you deserve an enormous “Thank you!”

Mama, you gave us smiles, cake on our birthdays, and countless gifts of joy. You let us be ourselves and encouraged us to follow our interests. Perhaps more than any other sacrifice, letting us be our true selves is the greatest gift of all. So, this Mother’s Day, I say, “My Mama, my love, a woman of substance—stay blessed.”

To quote a favorite saying: “You are the force that binds the very pieces of my life together. Life is beautiful because I have a mother like you who is always there for me. I love you to the moon and back.”

Despite the challenges a woman faces, she is always the first and last to smile.

My unsung hero, my love, my mother, Abiti Kamwendo Chrissie Elias Kamwendo—thank you!